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Day 58 on which I suddenly realize I hate something I thought I loved



I’ve always been a huge sucker for food festivals.

Taste of Cincinnati. The Great Inland Seafood Festival. Bacon, Bourbon, and Barbeque. Bacon, Beer, and Bourbon. Bourbon and Bacon. Cheesefest. The Sausage Festival. The Sauerkraut Festival. The Food Truck Festival. Goettafest. No, not Goettafest.Well, Goettafest once. But I didn't inhale.

I’ve been attending these for YEARS. I’ve always looked forward to them, planned around them, and tried to drag my friends to them.

And I realized today that I don’t actually like them, or don’t like them anymore.

I don’t know if the quality has changed (it seems like Taste of Cincinnati used to be an event where local restaurants showed off their best dishes at what was probably a financial loss, so that you’d come dine with them for real at some point. Now it seems like a way to sell $1 worth of food for $4), or whether I’ve gotten pickier about what I like, or if the idea of eating while standing up on a hot, crowded city street no longer appeals to me. But the reality is, the food isn’t usually that good, the experience is annoying, and the feeling that I’m obligated to overeat because, hey, it’s only here this weekend, seems ridiculously un-self aware.

But what’s weird is, I should have noticed this ages ago.

With one notable exception, I haven’t really enjoyed one of these food fests for maybe 5 years. When someone asked me how I liked (fill in the blank), I’d always say, “Eh, it was a little disappointing”. And I just this second realized that they’ve more or less all been like that for years, and yet I’ve still gone to most of them.

I’m agape at my own lack of self-awareness about this. I’ve spent so many years being the person who liked food festivals that I didn’t notice when I didn’t like them anymore. I wonder how many other things, people, relationships, habits, entertainments I could shed because, while they’re part of my self-identity, I don’t really want, need, or enjoy them anymore.

Well. That’s about 5 weekends a year, and 50,000 calories, I have back.

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