My name is Vena. I'm a 39 year old single entrepreneur in a long-term relationship with an ADD smartboy who is 14 years, 9 months my junior.
The first thing you should know about me is that you can't believe anything I say about my age. My boyfriend isn't 25, he's 36. I've been in business for myself since 1989. Do the math if you care to; all I can tell you is that I'm a lot younger at the age I am now that my mom was, and that many of the people I went to school with are, so the number literally makes no sense to me.
I've never blogged about anything personal, but I'm blogging about my #100DaystoHealth because I'm worried.
I'm worried that, even though I have no chronic illnesses or pains, I'll find myself on that downhill slide that so many of my older friends accept with complete equanimity ("I was so strong 10 years ago, now I can't lift a sheet of drywall"; "I'd go hiking in Vietnam, but my knees won't take it anymore" ; "I'll probably be dead before I'm 70, because that's what happens to all the men in my family"; "I sure don't think as fast as I used to").
I have to assume that this wasn't their plan; that they, like I, once believed that they'd live forever in perfect health and with enough mental acuity and physical stamina to do what they wanted until they died. Because to think that such a slide is inevitable is too depressing to consider. I have a lot left to do, and I'm going to need physical and mental health to do it. And, honestly, when I look at them, I think "Maybe you wouldn't be so weak if you bothered to do more than sit around all day? Maybe your knees would be better if you weren't 50 pound overweight? Maybe you wouldn't die if you stopped eating red meat 3 meals a day?"
Another thing you should know about me: I'm really good at seeing what everyone else is doing wrong. I'm not proud of that.
I'm also worried because my father is in the final stages of Alzheimer's disease, the worst thing I can imagine for a person who was as brilliant as he was. Genetics is a bitch, and while I do hope to be 90 someday, I sure don't want to be 90 and wearing diapers in the care of strangers.
I'm worried because despite that fact that I feel generally OK, my cholesterol is high and my dentist says I have gum disease. I'm starting to get age spots. My body is doing stuff that sucks, and I want it to stop.
I'm worried because I'm not as strong as I'd like to be. I have trouble with stupid things like stepping down into a boat--something I'd like to do a lot of in the next 50 years. I'm starting to think that I wouldn't survive a zombie invasion.
And worst of all, despite the fact that I've accomplished a LOT in business over the years, and that's required a lot of self-discipline, I've not managed to do the same with my weight and fitness.
I quit smoking a few years back (good) and gained 40 pounds as a result (bad). Over the past 2 years I've lot 21 of that (good) but put back on all but 8 (bad). I've gone through long periods where I've worked out every day, and long periods--like now--where I've been a total slug.
But I'm out of that freebie time that most of us get in our 20s and 30s where we can do whatever, and any damage done can be easily undone.
And I have decades of bad habits and bad actions to find a way around.
Food is one of my main sources of pleasure, and I eat it for comfort, joy, and reward as much as I do for sustenance.
I'm a stressed-out introvert, and I drink to relax and to be able to relate to others. I'm very aware that alcohol works, basically, by poisoning the body, but it's soooooo...great. But it's also sooooo...unhealthy when you do it every day, like I often do.
Like most Americans, I often eat what's handiest; unlike most Americans, I was at home for a total of 16 days between February 1 and April 22. The rest of the time I was traveling for business and pleasure. And what's usually handiest on the road (where, let me point out, you're already stressed by being in strange places) is junk, and lots of it. I actually LIKE fresh fruits and vegetables. I LIKE cooking. But when it comes to being hungry and on the road? Gimme a double whopper with fries please, and damn the calories/blood sugar/toxicity.
I forget that happiness leads to success, not the other way around, and I worry too much about the future and ruminate too much about the past. I let the monkey mind lead the way many days. I forget to be grateful. I forget to be patient. I forget that my thoughts aren't reality, and I cling to them. I forget that it's just as easy to imagine a bright future where everything is exactly how I want it, and spend too much time predicting how everything will go wrong. I forget that my brain needs healthy food, too, and I feed it junk.
It's time to put up or shut up. To really make my health, mental and physical, my #1 priority, or to accept that I'll have the productive, healthy time left that that bitch, genetics, allows.
So, WTF. I'll blog. I'll give myself a tiny bit of extra accountability (I say a tiny bit because another thing you need to know about me is that I care very little about what strangers think of me).
For the next 100 days, I'll "Do it all right" and see if it makes a difference.
I'll take care of my physical health, my fitness, my diet, my teeth, my eyes, my skin. I'll take care of my mental health with meditation and affirmation and learning something new every day. I'll see if it changes anything, if I'm happier or more energetic or less stressed as a result.
I'll put my health where it belongs for all of us: first on the priority list. Every day. No matter what.
I'll share the results because I'm curious myself. I'm tired of reading that 25 year old girls lost 100 pounds in 3 weeks by going on Jenny Craig and walking 20 minutes a day, when I can't relate to any of that. I wonder what a 39-for-the-11th-time year old who won't eat diet pills or pre-packaged foods or go on a liquid diet (ever again) because she thinks it's abusive to the inner woman can pull off, if anything.
Maybe it's hopeless. Maybe time and metabolism are as much an irresistible force as gravity, and maybe life really is like an hourglass glued to the table.
I'll tell you in 100 days.
The first thing you should know about me is that you can't believe anything I say about my age. My boyfriend isn't 25, he's 36. I've been in business for myself since 1989. Do the math if you care to; all I can tell you is that I'm a lot younger at the age I am now that my mom was, and that many of the people I went to school with are, so the number literally makes no sense to me.
I've never blogged about anything personal, but I'm blogging about my #100DaystoHealth because I'm worried.
I'm worried that, even though I have no chronic illnesses or pains, I'll find myself on that downhill slide that so many of my older friends accept with complete equanimity ("I was so strong 10 years ago, now I can't lift a sheet of drywall"; "I'd go hiking in Vietnam, but my knees won't take it anymore" ; "I'll probably be dead before I'm 70, because that's what happens to all the men in my family"; "I sure don't think as fast as I used to").
I have to assume that this wasn't their plan; that they, like I, once believed that they'd live forever in perfect health and with enough mental acuity and physical stamina to do what they wanted until they died. Because to think that such a slide is inevitable is too depressing to consider. I have a lot left to do, and I'm going to need physical and mental health to do it. And, honestly, when I look at them, I think "Maybe you wouldn't be so weak if you bothered to do more than sit around all day? Maybe your knees would be better if you weren't 50 pound overweight? Maybe you wouldn't die if you stopped eating red meat 3 meals a day?"
Another thing you should know about me: I'm really good at seeing what everyone else is doing wrong. I'm not proud of that.
I'm also worried because my father is in the final stages of Alzheimer's disease, the worst thing I can imagine for a person who was as brilliant as he was. Genetics is a bitch, and while I do hope to be 90 someday, I sure don't want to be 90 and wearing diapers in the care of strangers.
I'm worried because despite that fact that I feel generally OK, my cholesterol is high and my dentist says I have gum disease. I'm starting to get age spots. My body is doing stuff that sucks, and I want it to stop.
I'm worried because I'm not as strong as I'd like to be. I have trouble with stupid things like stepping down into a boat--something I'd like to do a lot of in the next 50 years. I'm starting to think that I wouldn't survive a zombie invasion.
And worst of all, despite the fact that I've accomplished a LOT in business over the years, and that's required a lot of self-discipline, I've not managed to do the same with my weight and fitness.
I quit smoking a few years back (good) and gained 40 pounds as a result (bad). Over the past 2 years I've lot 21 of that (good) but put back on all but 8 (bad). I've gone through long periods where I've worked out every day, and long periods--like now--where I've been a total slug.
But I'm out of that freebie time that most of us get in our 20s and 30s where we can do whatever, and any damage done can be easily undone.
And I have decades of bad habits and bad actions to find a way around.
Food is one of my main sources of pleasure, and I eat it for comfort, joy, and reward as much as I do for sustenance.
I'm a stressed-out introvert, and I drink to relax and to be able to relate to others. I'm very aware that alcohol works, basically, by poisoning the body, but it's soooooo...great. But it's also sooooo...unhealthy when you do it every day, like I often do.
Like most Americans, I often eat what's handiest; unlike most Americans, I was at home for a total of 16 days between February 1 and April 22. The rest of the time I was traveling for business and pleasure. And what's usually handiest on the road (where, let me point out, you're already stressed by being in strange places) is junk, and lots of it. I actually LIKE fresh fruits and vegetables. I LIKE cooking. But when it comes to being hungry and on the road? Gimme a double whopper with fries please, and damn the calories/blood sugar/toxicity.
I forget that happiness leads to success, not the other way around, and I worry too much about the future and ruminate too much about the past. I let the monkey mind lead the way many days. I forget to be grateful. I forget to be patient. I forget that my thoughts aren't reality, and I cling to them. I forget that it's just as easy to imagine a bright future where everything is exactly how I want it, and spend too much time predicting how everything will go wrong. I forget that my brain needs healthy food, too, and I feed it junk.
It's time to put up or shut up. To really make my health, mental and physical, my #1 priority, or to accept that I'll have the productive, healthy time left that that bitch, genetics, allows.
So, WTF. I'll blog. I'll give myself a tiny bit of extra accountability (I say a tiny bit because another thing you need to know about me is that I care very little about what strangers think of me).
For the next 100 days, I'll "Do it all right" and see if it makes a difference.
I'll take care of my physical health, my fitness, my diet, my teeth, my eyes, my skin. I'll take care of my mental health with meditation and affirmation and learning something new every day. I'll see if it changes anything, if I'm happier or more energetic or less stressed as a result.
I'll put my health where it belongs for all of us: first on the priority list. Every day. No matter what.
I'll share the results because I'm curious myself. I'm tired of reading that 25 year old girls lost 100 pounds in 3 weeks by going on Jenny Craig and walking 20 minutes a day, when I can't relate to any of that. I wonder what a 39-for-the-11th-time year old who won't eat diet pills or pre-packaged foods or go on a liquid diet (ever again) because she thinks it's abusive to the inner woman can pull off, if anything.
Maybe it's hopeless. Maybe time and metabolism are as much an irresistible force as gravity, and maybe life really is like an hourglass glued to the table.
I'll tell you in 100 days.
Oh Vena... that was one great thing to read... I hear you. I remember you from a meeting in REIA and I met the ADD guy you talk about who recomended me your teachinf, which i never follow. But after years i kept you in my contacts and now it is so nice to read your first blog. The best part that showed light to me was your comment: "I forget that happiness leads to success, not the other way around" which is so true. Keep writing 😊 I will read your journey because it will encourage mine. God bless
ReplyDeleteThank you, I will.
DeleteI have been through my own health struggles, prob more than you :). I have a lot of knowledge at my fingertips from years of research. If you ever want to chat about life, health, etc feel free to reach out to me. I just friend requested you on FB. My first pieces of advice, look into the Keto diet. It is sustainable while traveling! ������
ReplyDeleteI've actually been very lucky in my health, given how much I've ignored it! Thanks for the diet recommendation, but one of the things I'm trying to do is AVOID any way of eating that cuts out entire food groups. See my day 2 post for why. And thanks for reading.
DeleteSuch a great read - you are a good writer, that's a gift! I'm sure you've heard of lots of diets but I have to share the one I used recently anyway, just in case you would like to try it. The reason I like this diet is because while it does give you a plan to loose as much weight as you like, the real purpose of this diet is to learn to eat healthy for life. It was developed by a Dr. You can find it by doing a search on Medifast Take Shape for Life. My husband and I both did it - he lost 20 pounds and I lost 15. We are now both at the lowest BMI that is recommended for healthy people. We stopped the diet in early February and we're still at the same weight. Our eating habits have changed but we are still on the look out for healthy meals/snacks/drinks. Best of luck to you!!
ReplyDeleteRuth, thanks for the praise. I'm glad that Medifast worked for you! I'm avoiding any diet that cuts out food groups for this 100 days, though.
DeleteBeen there, done that Vena. I can't tell you how much I appreciate your blog. I just went through a weight and fitness transformation which I only finally accomplished when I found my why. You find that and you'll succeed. And from your blog it sounds like you have. One small bit of advice - allow yourself a little cheat now and then. I ate right and worked out twice a day for 9 months with great results. But once in awhile I would wake up and say "I just don't wanna do it today"...and I wouldn't. Made it easier to stick to the plan the next day. I look forward to what is sure to be a rather vulnerable blog. (We met in Orlando at a REI, Chucks girlfriend.) You can do it!
ReplyDeleteAshley--
DeleteI agree with you AND Oscar Wilde: "Moderation in all things, including moderation".
Very inspiring Vena! Especially to have the guts to say what a lot of others also experience! Good stuff!
ReplyDeleteThanks, Doug!
Delete
ReplyDeleteGood for you, sweetheart, for committing to 'health first' and for knowing that 'happiness leads to success and not the other way around'.
I started yesterday on a 90 day Transformation Lifestyle Plan from an outfit called Wellness and Prevention Solutions. They are promising to help me Eat Well. Move Well. Think Well. Program starts with a personalized Health Risk Assessment that asks about my current physical, mental, emotional and spiritual life style. Filling in the HRA got me a report that shows where I need improvement to bring my health to optimal levels in all area. I can get daily email reminders for healthy eating recipes, movement activities and emotional encouragement. Also the chance to assess my progress every day or at 30, 60 and 90 days by taking the HRA again. I am investing $199. in this because I know I will be more motivated to follow it if I have this financial 'skin in the game'. Any questions I have that are not answered as I go along will be answered by the D. C. who set me up with the program.
It is based on the work of Dr James Chestnut who has written a book available on Amazon on the science of epigenetics, lifestyle and health.
BTW other risk factors besides Alzheimer's in your genome are for diabetes and cerebro-spinal ataxia.
I will let you know in 30, 60 and 90 days how I am doing on this program. By the end of it, I hope to feel as young as you are now, even though I'm 30 years older.
Love, Mom
Dear Mom, I'm replacing the thought "Other risk factors in your genome are for diabetes and cerebro-spinal ataxia" with the thought "Other risk factors in my genome are for bowling into my mid-90s, outliving 3 younger spouses, and driving when I'm 80". Thanks, your daughter.
DeleteYou can use envisioning to help you progress. As you drop off to sleep, imagine that it's sometime in the future and you are fully done with your transformation. You are your ideal weight, you exercise regularly and have plenty of strength, speed and flexibility. Just think how happy that will make you, and paint the image with those positive feelings. The next best time for this is when you first awake, since those two times are closest to your subconscious mind. You might want to take fall training, a course given by many hospitals which teach how to fall with no permanent damage. I learned this from taking dozens of falls back in my teens skating freestyle, and it's a huge asset in my late 60s. Last summer I tripped getting out of the street onto the sidewalk and fell, full length onto the sidewalk. It hurt sharply in several places, but no broken skin even.
ReplyDelete