I’ve spent crazy amounts of time over the last 48 days
researching exercise, health, fitness, longevity, mental health, and, most
importantly, how to fit all this, permanently, into an already overly-busy,
overly-committed life.
Far and away, the book that’s impacted me most has been Younger
Next Year for Women (there’s a men’s version, too, of course; in fact, “for
Women” is the sequel). The book is a good read; it’s funny, irreverent, and
inspiring. But the one line summary is this: exercise hard, 6 hours a week,
stop eating crap, and get some friends.
The piece of advice that really struck me, though, was the
advice to build one’s free time around recreational sports. You know, spend
Sunday taking a long hike, or a vacation skiing or learning to surf.
One reason I was so affected by this is that it’s exactly
what I used to do, years ago. My honeymoon was a biking trip across Normandy.
My weekends were often spent riding horses, or my bike, or swimming. A canoe
trip with my friends from college was a much-anticipated annual event.
None of this had to do with any proactive effort to "get in shape". At that age, I was pretty effortlessly skinny, and strong-ish, and freakishly flexibly. No, I did it because part of my self-image was that I was a person who liked physical challenges, and to do new things, and to, as I would have said at the time, "have adventures".
I really enjoyed all of these things (despite my professed
hatred for exercise), and as I thought about why I stopped, I almost gagged on
the answer: I stopped because the two guys I’ve been with during the last 15
years (sequentially, not simultaneously. Just to be clear.) weren’t really into
the whole “physical exertion as recreation thing. And I did the stupid “girl”
thing and became a person who didn’t do any of that, either. Ugh. That was
painful to admit.
I had other excuses, of course; the nature of my work is
that a lot of it happens on weekends, which means that my “able to go canoeing”
times are different than other people’s. And I’m also out of town a lot. And I
had some injuries a few years back (which turned out to be psychosomatic and,
again, man-related) that made it really tough for me to do anything strenuous.
But the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth is
that I’ve thought about and talked about surfing vacations and yoga retreats
and cross country bike rides for a decade and a half, and I haven’t done them
because I didn’t have anyone that I thought would be willing to do them with
me.
Well, no more. One of my (yes, 5) friends recently
rediscovered the concept of a bicycle, and has been riding regularly for the
last month or so. We made a plan this weekend to go ride a local bike trail
(one that I rode several times when I was married to the guy who actually liked
going outdoors), and to just sort of spend the morning tooling around on it.
Once this plan was made, the Smartboy decided that he had to be a part of it,
and managed to acquire a bike in about 3 day’s time.
So all four of us (my friend and his wife, plus the Smartboy
and I) met up on a beautiful, sunny Sunday morning and had a FANTASTIC time
riding nearly 19 miles on the beautiful, paved, virtually traffic-free,
tree-lined trail. Amazing. Practically a spiritual experience. A
smack-myself-on-the-head-for-not-having-been-there-every-weekend-for-the-last-15-years
good time.
Well, 3 of the 4 of us did. The Smartboy says he doesn’t “get
a lot out of the whole nature thing”, and that his bike is the wrong size. But he
can chase Pokémon next time we go. Because damned if I’m letting the fact that my
cute, smart, OCD boyfriend doesn’t want to spend most of a day enjoying the
feeling of moving his body and pushing his limitations keep me from going out
and doing it anyway.
I’ve already decided that my next vacation is going to be
activity focused—possibly a bike trip, possibly a yoga center, or maybe, if I have
the core and upper body strength by then, learning to surf. Smartboy even
agreed to join me, IF I’ll also take a snowboarding trip with him later in the
winter. I’ll spend that one in the hot tub with a nice glass of spiked hot
chocolate, I think.
In the meantime, my friends and I have another ride planned
for this weekend, and a canoe trip after that. And I’m super-excited about
rediscovering a part of my ‘self’ that I’d shelved so long ago that I forgot
where I owned it.
And no more changing for guys. I promise.
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