One
of the great frustrations of my work life is in dealing with adult students who
pay a lot of money to learn HOW to do what I do, but then won’t actually take
the (fairly simple) steps to DO what I do.
In
my industry, this well-known phenomenon is chalked up to all kinds of personal
failings: fear, the lack of a good ‘why’, a desire to get something for
nothing, insufficient motivation, and a bunch of other answers that are pat and
satisfying, but probably not complete.
I
suppose I should be grateful for the job security; after all, as long as there
are people who can’t do what they already know they need to do to get the results
they want, they’ll need classes like mine, coaching like mine, and groups like
mine to turn their knowledge into doing.
And
while I find this frustrating (“Come ON people, it’s not that damn hard and it’ll
make you rich beyond the dreams of avarice!!!!”), I positively don’t judge,
because Lord knows I’m guilty of knowing a lot of things that, if I actually
bothered to put them into action, would change my life in big, important ways
that I SAY I want.
I
mean, I didn’t get into the state of health I’m trying to get out of because I didn’t
KNOW that smoking was bad for you, or because no one had ever mentioned that eating
more and exercising less was a recipe for weight gain, high blood pressure,
diabetes, and early death.
I
KNEW what to do. I just didn’t DO it. And when I think about “reasons” for
that, I can come up with a lot:
- Lack of time
- Depression
- It was easier to keep doing what I was doing than to make major changes
- Distraction
- Too much else to do
- Not convenient right now, things coming up that require lots of eating/not much exercise, I’ll start after ____
- I like food/smoking, don’t want to give it up
- Confusion over the exact right things to do, too much information available
- “All or nothing” mentality (if I can’t change everything, why bother to change anything)
- Force of habit
- Assumption that some better, future me would have the time/energy/motivation to do it
As
I look at that list, I see a lot of the same reasons that people give me for
not getting started in my business. And I see the schism between what I hear
when THEY say them (“You really don’t want this that badly) and what I mean
when *I* say them (“No, seriously, I literally couldn’t fit this into my life
right now, it’s not an excuse, it’s reality") and I realize that they’re all
good reasons and all excuses all at the same time.
But
what REALLY disturbs me about the knowing/doing gap is not that I often don’t
do what I know is good for me; it’s that I often do what I know is BAD for me. The
best analogy among my students lies in the handful who literally get into a position
where, if they don’t take steps to make some money, and fast, they’re in danger
of bankruptcy, or losing their house, and yet they still can’t stir themselves to
do what they know they need to do.
It’s
one thing to put off the diet another day, or week, or month. It’s another
thing altogether to have the realization that I’m uncomfortably full, and then keep eating anyway. To find out
that I have alarmingly high cholesterol, and
not change my diet at all. To be short of breath all the time, and still keep smoking. To experience
ill effects that are the first symptoms of really bad things, and in the face
of those effects and the knowledge of how to change them, still not DO. And
heaven knows I’ve done every one of those things.
This
all has something to do with the way humans are wired. I bet our shorter-lived
ancestors did better by eating the whole antelope today than by worrying
about getting fat tomorrow, when tomorrow could easily bring a saber-toothed
lion to eat them, instead.
Or maybe it really is that we want more things than we can possibly have time to accomplish. Still, it’s amazing to observe, in myself and others, the constant hypocrisy of saying that we truly desire something, knowing exactly how to get it, and then not doing that thing.
I wonder, what would our lives be like if we managed to constantly focus on DOING what we already know we should do? We'd undoubtedly be more powerful, healthy, wealthy, and wise than we can image right now.
And maybe that's exactly what scares us.
Or maybe it really is that we want more things than we can possibly have time to accomplish. Still, it’s amazing to observe, in myself and others, the constant hypocrisy of saying that we truly desire something, knowing exactly how to get it, and then not doing that thing.
I wonder, what would our lives be like if we managed to constantly focus on DOING what we already know we should do? We'd undoubtedly be more powerful, healthy, wealthy, and wise than we can image right now.
And maybe that's exactly what scares us.
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